Medium Article

Why Suffering Is Not All Bad

Four Lessons from History Masters to Apply to Your Personal Life

7 min readAug 16, 2023

On May 17, 1814, Johanna Schopenhauer wrote a “last” letter to her young son Arthur telling him the following:

My duty towards you is at an end, go your way, I have nothing more to do with you… Leave your address here, but do not write to me, I shall henceforth neither read nor answer any letter from you…
So this is the end… You have hurt me too much. Live and be as happy as you can be.

***“Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan on 16 November 1581”*** by Russian realist artist **Ilya Repin**, oil on canvas.

It can be difficult to understand how a mother can write something similar to a child. But despite this and decades later, Arthur Schopenhauer would become one of the greatest “pessimists” in history.

Gloom Will Always Show Us Hope

Think about it for a moment: if you were lost on a dark night in the ocean, any light would be a halo of hope. Your situation at that time may be the worst you have ever experienced in life, but as the saying well remembers: hope is the last thing that is lost.

Owen D. Young, a lawyer and businessman once said:

“People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.”

So here's the first rule you should use*:

Empathize with others, put yourself in their shoes. But don't use it as a trick to get whatever you want. Do it because it's the right thing to do, always — *learning new knowledge but not using it is for those who are afraid to live. Don’t you think?

As Mark Manson said in his book «The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck»:

If you have a problem, there is a good chance that millions of people have had it in the past. ...that doesn't mean it doesn't have to hurt. It just means that you're not special."

Let's face it: we all have problems.

The rich guy with his fleet of eight yachts has a problem when one of them runs out of gas. On the other hand, a child who struggles to continue fighting a serious illness also has a problem.

Now you'll tell me: it's not the same. But for whom? For you or for them?

They both have the same thing: a problem. Only we can frivolize the situation when we compare their problems with each other.

***“Belisarius Begging for Alms”*** by Jacques-Louis David, oil on canvas.

Pain Is Exercise if You Don't Care Much

One of Albert Einstein’s favourite quotes came from the mind of this genius of his time — which we talked about him before:

“Der Mensch kann tun was er will; er kann aber nicht wollen was er will.”
“Man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills.”
― Arthur Schopenhauer, Essays and Aphorisms.

I bet you that at some point in your life you dreamed of doing "one thing" that you would love to do, but deep inside you, you know that you will never do it. Right?

As Schopenhauer said, you are free to do so, but we restrict ourselves with imaginary chains that we create.

So the second lesson we must learn is the following:

don't care too much.

Actually, it seems like a cheap methodology, but don't take it for granted.

When you don´t care about what happen in the road you begin to reach achievements that you never imagined you would achieve. Most of us are left imagining what it would be like to achieve our goals, but it would be much better if we embraced the suffering that any path entails with it and got down to work. Just that.

Rome wasn't built in two days and you won't get your dreams faster just by wanting it.

“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking make it so.”
— Shakespear

F*cked Up by Standards

If the sudden death of Schopenhauer's father in April 1805 had not happened, surely his story would be different. The history of philosophy would also be.

A.Schopenhauer was a good example of how your situation doesn't have to negatively affect your life - although his family was a wealthy one, the loss of a loved one is the same for everyone... isn't it?

What's more, the less "negative" an experience, the harder it is for us to overcome it.

This rule is wonderfully exemplified through the Region-Beta Paradox.

Mridul Sahu write the following about this paradox:

If you’re in a relationship that’s just “good enough,” you may not feel the need to seek support or make changes. But if the relationship is causing you intense pain or distress, you may be more likely to take action to improve the situation.
In other words, when your relationship is a complete and total disaster, you’re more likely to do something about it.

Keep in mind that nothing will stop. If we don't go to the path we want, I repeat, nothing will stop. Time will pass as you enter a mental state of reflection that will exhaust all possibilities to change your current situation, problem or task that you face.

The third lesson will be the following:

The important thing is not to stop solving problems. Never abandoning suffering because she will always be by your side, whether you want it or not.

Not because you find potholes on the road from time to time means that you don't go through it again, right?

The Drug of Our Era

Throughout my adolescence I spent a lot of time reflecting on the future.

What would I study?
What could I offer to this world that it didn’t have?
What could be improved?
What would happen to me if I chose a path instead of another?

**“Smart Communication”** by Yuui Gim, oil on canvas.

All this restlessness and desire that was born in my adolescence has been "castrated" in recent years thanks to social media.

To this day I still wonder how they had enough time in the past to be able to study or learn so much about a specific topic.

Over the years I have realized that we live in a hyper globalized world that requires our full attention and constant updating. It doesn't help to be good, not even the best.

“Persist and resist.”
— Epictetus

Although this metaphor explains it much better:

A marathon runner from the 60´s only had to reach the finish line one time to be the best. Before, there were fewer competitors, fewer methodologies and fewer marathons.

Now, however, to be the best you have to maintain that status over time:

You always have to keep being the best.

And I won't be the one to disappoint you but I'm writing this article from the greatest of my positives but... it's almost impossible to reach that kind of perfectionism.

Social media make us think that everything in this life is easy. That we want things and experiences that once savored don't really catch our attention.

Even the one who uses them to his advantage for something specifically, is subjected to a kind of spell by which he has a big chance to end up deeply hooked on them.

Here's the fourth lesson: don't compare yourself with others. Live your life to the fullest.

And, please, uninstall all the toxic apps you have on your device. If you're like me, I'm sure you have more than one.

A Practical Viewpoint

How to make things easy for you:

Don't pursue happiness, chase responsibility.

“The world is asking you that question. And it’s your job to answer with your actions.”
— Viktor Frankl

I don't have time to get angry or worry if someone hurts me on my way. I couldn't care less.

All the people on the streets are suffering and fighting their own battles, to one extent or another. Don't give importance to things that don't have it.

To wrap up, remember: